destinationen ukendt

This is not cool. I'm stucked on an essay, which I dont want to write. I could do it, but I simply dont feel like interpretate one more text, building the essay up step by step - using a paper telling me exactly which clues to look for. It's easy yes, but boring. Instead, I choose to write anything else.

I use to draw when I feel stucked here at my desk. Somehow I feel it's more okay to draw, than stare at the same pictures on Facebook for eight hours. But today I didn't draw any crazy faces, I just stared a my coralcoloured fingernails. Trying to write my own stuff in english, just as I do now. Like Paul E suggested my to do yesterday, so I've been giving it a shot. And it's a little weird. But it's also cool. Though I don't know how it sounds, since I'm not that rich of vocabulary (or grammar but that's not a secret; and it's the reason why I'm doing this). 

So when you don't write what you have to. And you don't write what you want to. 

I, get lost of the idea about living in the present, and I dream about graduation day. Which means no more essays. No more economic projects. Also, I decided I might no be wearing my cap at the the gradution day. I can't exactly explain why. At this point, I just don't feel like it. But I can say that this hat express the thing I hated about high school- the high school which is a perfect symbol of the absurd system our society has been build on. Follow the rules and yes, do be independent! But don't you dare to express indepence and individuality in a more creative way. No - follow the schedule or die. Maybe not die, but it's close... and then there is the cross at the student's cap. Another symbol of the bourgeois little country called Denmark, the red and white flag waving on the top of every white flagstaff. Oh my god. 

Instead I want to drink a hell lot of whisky and listen to the doors (not all the time though), with the ho's. Exploring our crazy minds, instead of letting them down. And I'm looking forward to go to Barcelona, travelling down the coast with Clara, eating paella and drinking Hans' special sangria. I'm looking forward to Berlin, to get my ass out of Copenhagen. But mostly I'm looking forward to be free, to do what i want. I try to live in the present, but the fact that six big papers are hanging over my head have comed to frustrate me, in someway. What I really feel like doing is reading. Reading what I want to read myself. I have a bunch of books lying on my coffeetable, waiting to get opened. But the pile are growing up, not down. 

I know I want the same as every other young people, who fulfilled the expectations and went to school for 13 years, without any break. 

And then, I'll probably dream back to this point in life, later on...

Essay - NOW